What If I Need You
by Dracolovesmebest
Summary: Shuichi goes above and beyond what it takes to be a good boyfriend why cant Yuki make even half as much effort?


**OKAY Guys so this is my first Gravitation fic and i really love this anime and the pairing so i hope i've done it justice reviews are appreciated. As always i dont own or make money off of this its just for fun! hop you enjoy! also if you like this follow me on tumblr! .com/**

* * *

><p>The lights were bright and hot as the crowd filled with anticipation wondering who would be the recipient of the prestigious National Artist of the year award. Everyone was practically on the edge of their seats wondering who it would be. The hostess and award presenter began to speak. "Hello ladies and gentlemen! I'm your hostess for the evening Sora Izanami, and I think it's about time we get to the most important and highly anticipated part of our night. The award for National Artist of the year! It has been given to only the best of the best. Nittle Grasper is the only group ever to receive it twice. This year we are going to be honoring only one person, and that person is…" She begins to open the envelope very carefully. Meanwhile in his seat Shindou Shuichi is shivering in anticipation, It's been going around that he was a sure shot to win this year. He was so confidant and afraid that he had even made Yuki his boyfriend of three years promise to come which he hardly ever did because he knows how Yuki feels about these things. Sadly as he felt the tension stretching like a rubber band his boyfriend still hadn't shown either to congratulate him on winning or comfort him in losing. The hostess began to pull the paper out of the envelope with exaggerated slowness allowing Shuichi time to build up tears while thinking about how horrible he felt for thinking Yuki might actually show him support in public. "And the winner is..." Sora announced. "Shindou Shuichi lead singer of the group Bad Luck!" Shuichi stood trying to smile for this was indeed a great achievement but without Yuki to share it with what was the point. He made his way to the stage with a smile plastered on his face and silent tears streaming down his cheeks. "Look at him ladies and gentlemen," Sora said. "He is so overwhelmed with happiness he's crying! He is so humble and amazing!" Little did they all realize those tears meant something else entirely. That smile barely masking the hurt he was feeling. After accepting the award he quickly made his way out of the building into the limo he shared with the other members of his group silently praying they wouldn't notice how broken he was on what was supposed to be one of the happiest nights of his life.<p>

* * *

><p>Unfortunately for him he could never be so lucky. Almost immediately upon entering the limo Nakano Hiroshi his best friend began to question him. "Shu' why are you so complicated? You just won the biggest award of your life and you're sad. Don't even say they're tears of joy because I know you and your crushed right now." Hiroshi stated plainly. Shuichi just broke down. "Oh Hiro! It's Yuki! H-he wasn't there! I go to all of his book signings, all of his interviews, and the one time I ask him to be there for me he can't do it! I needed him. I know I shouldn't be acting like this cuz it's not that big of a deal and he might have a really good reason for missing it but what if he doesn't! I mean who am I trying to kid he's Yuki…He's probably sitting at his desk working on his next book!" Shuichi kept on crying into Hiros chest as the limo approached his home where Yuki would most likely be waiting for him. "Shu you know you don't have to go back there? You can come stay with me we'll order pizza and strawberry pop and we'll talk about all this stuff." He tried to sound reassuring, but Shuichi just shook his head. "I have to make sure nothing bad happened Hiro you know his health is fragile and there's always a slim chance he could be sick and need me." Now it was Hiros turn to shake his head. Leave it to Shuichi to be hysterical about someone not showing up one second and worried about why the next. "If you need anything just call me ill come get you." Hiro said hoping that Yuki had a good reason for missing the award show. "I will Hiro" He said hugging his friend as he exited the limo.<p>

* * *

><p>Now was the moment of truth Shuichi patiently punched the security code in and entered the building. Holding his breath he walked to the elevator pressing his floor number he felt dizzy as he remembered to take a breath. Too soon he was stepping off the elevator whispering excuse me to several people he hadn't noticed were even in the elevator when he got on. Another five or so seconds of very slow walking and he was at the door of the apartment he shared with Yuki. Slowly turning the key the locked popped with a small click and he was entering the door. Closing his eyes he took a deep breath silently praying Yuki had a good reason for not showing up. Looking around he didn't see any sign that Yuki was home but that meant nothing because Yuki hardly spent any time there at all the truth would be told when he entered the office space where Yuki did his work. He didn't hear anything so that in itself was comforting but only slightly. As he approached the door to the office he heard a faint clicking noise. The origin of the clicking was soon discovered as Shuichi realized that what he had feared most had happened.<p>

* * *

><p>There indeed was the proof Eiri Yuki was sitting at his desk with only the light of the computer illuminating the room tapping on his keyboard in what can only be described as an angry manner. Suddenly all the worry and sadness faded from Shuichis mind. "What in the fuck do you think you're doing!" He screamed obviously interrupting Yuki which was never a good thing but what did Shuichi care when Yuki couldn't even get off his lazy ass and come see him get a stupid award. "I see your home" was all he said. This just made Shuichi even angrier. "I won the award thanks for asking. I see you're here working ever so diligently." He practically seethed. Yuki looked up for a split second before returning to his work. "Congratulations." He said flatly. "Now how about you make me some coffee?" Shuichi was stunned. How dare he! After all of he'd done to him emotionally tonight sit there calmly and ask for some coffee! "Why don't you get off your lazy ass and make your own damn coffee I'm so fucking done with this." Slamming the door behind him he stomped into the bedroom they shared and began to pack up his things. He was so through with being the one who had to pretend he was happy with how things were yeah he loved Yuki but why should he have to suffer for love when Yuki put forth no effort!<p>

* * *

><p>"What are you doing?" Said Yuki's voice from the doorway. Shuichi made no effort to answer. "Shuichi! Put those clothes back where you got them from and quit making a mess I have work to do without worrying about you ruining the entire house." That sentence made Shuichi look at him with such anger that Yuki was momentarily stunned. "Don't you get it Yuki? I'm done! I quit! I'm so sick of being the only one who cares about this relationship! I'm 20 years old! You treat me like I'm ten! If we aren't having sex then you act like I'm some pesky kid you can barely put up with! I'm done with trying so hard when I feel like I'm disposable to you! I shouldn't have to feel like at any second you could break up with me. I'm leaving." Yuki was shocked into silence but that quickly turned into an irrational anger. "Really Shuichi this just proves how childish you are! I didn't come to a stupid award show with you and that's grounds to break up with me? One stupid thing doesn't go your way and so it's over? That's life Shuichi!" He screamed. Shuichi honestly couldn't believe what he was hearing. "WHAT! Do you even realize how fucked up you sound? Think about it Yuki how many of your interviews have I been to, how many book signings have I been to posing for pictures with you, and most importantly how many times have you been sick and I spent my time nursing you back to health? If I so much as look like I might ask you to do something for me you give me a death look. One night that's all I asked in case I didn't win to take care of me and if I did win to be happy for me to be there with me! You couldn't even do that for me. You're a selfish bastard. I needed you! What if I need you again in the future is that how you're going to act?" Shuichi was nearly hysterical tears freely flowing no longer packing so much as throwing things in his bag. "Shuichi-" Yuki said trying to make his voice softer which he failed at because it came out as more of an angry bark. "Get a hold of yourself! Couples have problems this is just something we have to get over." Yuki received a snort in response. "I said that to you forever ago Yuki don't use my own lines on me. I'm sick of this. Tonight wasn't the first time it was just the last straw. I'm done with wondering how much longer before you break up with me, What if I say something wrong, or even worse I get my hopes up that today will be different, it's not it's the same as it always is then somehow you convince me you'll change, and I quit complaining for a little while till it starts bothering me again. You obviously don't care if you can't even apologize for doing something that has me this upset!" Yuki didn't say anything else he just left the room quietly realizing now the full magnitude of what he'd done. Why shouldn't Shuichi leave him if that's how he'd really been acting? He had been trying his hardest to keep from becoming too involved knowing that one day Shuichi would realize he wasn't capable of being in a normal relationship. Who knew the very thing he'd used to protect himself was what was pushing Shuichi away from him.<p>

* * *

><p>As if to reflect his mood the heavens opened up to cry some tears of its own on the ground with thunder and lightning accompanying them. He was brought out of his thoughts by at the sound of footsteps soon It was plain that Shuichi had finished packing. Shuichi stopped in front of the door dropping his bags, and turning towards Yuki. "Here is the key to the elevator, my key to the apartment, my key to your car, and my keycard to your computer." He said sniffing a little as he handed the keys to Yuki wondering if this really was over. It wasn't like the other times they fought he left for a few days and when he returned everything was better this time he was making sure he could never return. "Shuichi-"Came Yuki's soft and broken voice. "I-I" He tried to speak but he was quieted. "Yuki I love you, but obviously this is wrong I'm wrong for you I want you to be happy and I guess if I don't make you happy then I should let find someone that makes you happy rather than holding you back. You've never even said that you loved me and I see now that it must have been because you never really did. Bye Yuki…I love you." Yuki was frozen solid as he watch Shuichi walk out of their home that they had made together. That's when it hit him. It was their home not his and they had made it together. Somewhere along the line he fell in love and just never admitted it to anyone not even himself. He had to stop Shuichi this had gone on long enough. Standing up quickly he was dizzy for a second as the blood rushed from his head but as soon as he was able he started to run out the door and into the elevator. He made it to the lobby and Shuichi was nowhere to be found.<p>

* * *

><p>Yuki ran out the doors into the pouring rain he was instantly soaked, and he could barely see. He looked across the street to the left and to the right he couldn't see anything. He took off down the street something told him to go this and who was he to dispute gut feelings. Running no sprinting down the street soon proved dangerous as he slipped several times and who knows if he hadn't slowed down he may never have noticed the small person curled up in a ball with shockingly pink hair laying under a bus stop shelter. He ran over quickly afraid something had happened. "Shuichi! Are you okay?" He yelled over the rain. Shuichi was soaking wet and obviously freezing because all he did was shiver. Leave it Shuichi to leave in such a huff that he didn't even put a jacket on over his normal half naked garb. "Come on we're going home!" He said picking him up bridal style. Not quite out of it yet Shuichi began to put up a fight. "Put me down I don't want to go! I have somewhere to be you don't understand I'm leaving you don't get to, decide that I'm coming back!" Yuki was done with his fight he was going to have the flu. He put the boy down so that the tips of his toes were barely touching the floor. Grasping the younger boys chin he forced Shuichi to meet his eyes. "Shuichi listen to me it's pouring out here you obviously weren't going to get far when the buses don't even travel in this weather. Come back with me to the apartment and then in the morning ill take you wherever you were planning to go or anything. Everything in your bags is no doubt ruined you can borrow something of mine for tonight and tomorrow ill by you knew clothes since this is all my fault any way please Shu. Let me take care of you?" His eyes filled with tears that threatened to spill. Reluctantly knowing he'd been beaten he decided to do the smart thing and just deal with being with Yuki for one last night. Yuki carried him back to the apartment and down the hall to the bedroom that they would share just one more time. He pulled a crisp button down shirt and a pair of boxers out of his drawer and changed Shuichi. Gently he placed Shuichi into the bed wrapping the blankets around him. Yuki moved to sit in the chair where he could watch over the young man.<p>

* * *

><p>As he turned to walk away Shuichi grasped his hand. "Yuki-"He said looking up. "Lay with me please. Make me warm again." Shuichi shivered again. Yuki just nodded changing clothes and joined Shuichi in the bed wrapping his body around the smaller man. A few moments later Shuichi turned over to face Yuki. Touching Yuki's face Shuichi whispered to him. "Yuki please take me once more. One last time for me please." Yuki was shocked Shuichi was never so bold but he supposed it was now or never. Leaning forward he captured Shuichi's lips with his own. Tenderly he brushed hair out of Shuichi's face if this was the last time they had then Yuki was going to make it count. He positioned them so he was straddling the smaller boy. Yuki leaned forward and placed a bruising kiss on Shuichi's lips savoring the taste that was naturally Shuichi. Their tongues caressed each others in a slow dance of warm lips and movements. Soon Shuichi began to whimper and Yuki could feel his arousal pressing against his leg. Yuki gently took off their shirts unbuttoning Shuichi's slowly before pulling his off in a much quicker fashion. He nipped and licked his way down Shuichi's body stopping to leave love bites on Shuichi's neck. He made sure to taste everywhere he could, biting and nipping all the places that made Shuichi squirm and whimper with want. "Yuki please-" Was all Shuichi could say as he shivered at his sensory overload. Yuki gently pulled down Shuichi's boxers until his member eager sprang forth without so much as a single hair to mar its stage. Slowly he leaned forward taking just the tip into his mouth, but that was enough Shuichi bucked into his mouth just slightly showing just how much he was enjoying this. Yuki looked up as he bobbed his head on Shuichi's cock. Shuichi's eyes were shut tight. With a pop and a slurp he released the member allowing a single strand of saliva to trail between his lips and the tip of Shuichi's penis. Shuichi whimpered audibly. "Shuichi look at me. I want you to watch me while I make you cum with my mouth." Shuichi just nodded in response staring at Yuki's head as he bobbed his head up and down his shaft all the while teasing and tasting and pressing and sucking. Soon it was too much. "Yuki! I'm Cuming!" He screamed as he shot his seed into Yuki's mouth. Yuki who had never been very fond of that part swallowed every drop trying to memorize the flavor of his lover.<p>

* * *

><p>Yuki crawled back up Shuichi's body and gave him a slow and tantalizing kiss. Shuichi could taste the slightly salty flavor of himself on Yuki's lips. "Are you sure you want to do this?" Yuki said as he looked into Shuichi's eyes. "I've never been so sure of anything." Was his reply. Yuki nodded reaching into the side table drawer and found Shuichi's favorite strawberry flavored lube. "This is going to hurt since we haven't done anything in a few weeks." Shuichi just nodded his understanding. Yuki spread a generous about of lube onto his fingers. Rubbing his digits around the puckered ring he managed a finger in. He worked his finger around and Shuichi hissed at the movement. Soon a second and a third finger was added by the time Yuki added the fourth Shuichi was over the discomfort and was thrusting back onto the fingers. When Yuki removed the digits Shuichi whimpered in disappointment but that didn't last as the fingers were soon replaced by something larger. Yuki thrusted into Shuichi and received a very loud squeal Yuki knew Shuichi's body so well he could hit his prostate with 100% precision. Shuichi wrapped his legs around Yuki urging him deeper. Which he eagerly obliged. Shuichi was already about to unravel for the second time he just needed a little bit of help, but seeing as his hands were too busy gripping the head board Yuki would have to do something about that. Yuki reached Shuichi's cock and began to stroke in time with his trusts. Within seconds Shuichi was seeing sparks and Yuki only lasted until he felt Shuichi's body constrict around him. That was his undoing as he shot his seed into Shuichi. When they were finished Yuki simply rolled off of Shuichi and pulled the younger man into his arms. Shuichi never one to stay awake after sex was asleep before his head even landed on Yuki's chest or so it seemed.<p>

* * *

><p>"Oh Shuichi." Yuki whispered to know one since Shuichi was asleep. "I should have told you so many times. I should have told I loved you every day. I should have been there for you at everything you did. There are so many things I should have done and now it's over and tomorrow you're going to leave and I'll go back to what my life was before you. I'm Sorry I wish I had done things better." He muttered as he fell asleep his hand lightly tracing patterns on Shuichi's back. Shuichi whom Yuki had thought to be asleep was actually awake and had heard that entire little monologue and now had plenty to think about. Morning cam about and Yuki woke up in bed alone. Looking around he cursed under his breath. "Damnit! Of course he would leave before I woke up." He got out of bed and went to the bathroom to get ready for the day after all what else was there to do. As soon as he was done he went into the kitchen to find some food but instead found a little pink hair man walking around in a button down shirt much too big for him.<p>

* * *

><p>"Shu-Shuichi? I thought you'd gone" he said stunned. Shuichi just gave him his biggest and brightest smiles. "Now where would I be going silly?" Yuki just took a moment to look confused. "Oh Yuki you thought I was asleep I heard what you said and I understand now what was going on in your head. You were afraid, and you're not like me you don't jump head first into things and try to force them to work. I get that so I'm going to stay if you agree to a few conditions that is." Yuki was just so happy that he almost said yes without asking about the conditions but ever the business man he knew there had to be an agreement first. "Explain your conditions." He said simply. Shuichi practically jumped for joy. "Ok I just want you to know I'm not going to be ridiculous, first I want you to tell me you love me at least once a month I know that's hard for you and last night was the first time you ever said it to me, second I want you to come to at least three of my public appearances a month, and thirdly you need to take me shopping because you owe me a new wardrobe." He said laughing, and very cheery. Yuki on the other hand was practically in tears at those requests. "Yuki what's wrong is that too much? I can bend I swear I want us to work so bad I-"He was cut off as Yuki kissed him on his lips very hard. "Shuichi I'm not crying cuz its too much I'm crying because it's not enough you should be making me grovel for forgiveness and follow you around like a puppy and all kinds of things. I swear I'm going to do the things you asked and more." Shuichi just smile his signature cheesy smile. "I love you Shu" Yuki whispered into his ear. "I LOVE YOU TOO YUKI!" He said tackling Yuki to the floor.<p> 


End file.
